On Bosses

What do they do?

The simple answer is not much.

Sure there's paperwork like P&L reports and liquor counts and ordering and meetings they're required to take care of...but they're all things you could train a 15 year old to do.

Most of the time all this is done by one manager with an existent work ethic. In my restaurant in falls on my man Gates, one of the best bosses I've ever had. He's the exception to the rule though.

For a lot of us, we've been doing this longer and simply have accumulated more experience over the years. Managers, general managers especially, tend to be lazy.

The only thing we really need them for is the special swipe care they have to do voids, comps, gift certificates and split checks. Give us that card and you'd only need one manager.

So since most of them avoid all office work, what do they do when they're not at the computer swiping their card (tough work, I know). They stand at the front door, they smile, they chitchat with guests, they do table touches where they check in on everyone's experience, they stand at the bar and watch tv, they stand at the line and watch food be run, every now and then they'll bend down to pick something up off the floor (or otherwise tell a server to).

Good job?

People argue that they're necessary on the floor because guests appreciate their authoritative presence. While it's probably true that guests feel comfortable with a "boss" nearby, that's the guest's own problem of naivete.

Allow me to enlighten you.

Most of them have less schooling than we do. Don't let the suit fool you. They're almost the same age as the rest of us. My current boss is 31 and in the five year difference in our age, the only thing he has on me is children. They talk more shit about you behind closed doors than even we do, they're just more political about it and hide it well. They lie to you, they bribe you, they manipulate you and then flutter off to another table to do the same.

What are they good at?

Bullshit and politics. The best liars I've ever met have been my bosses. Dave, my boss 6 years ago at Vinny T's could convince anyone that God exists then turn around and convince them he doesn't.

When do they suck the most?

One manager I had went next door on a really slow summer afternoon and bought us all toothbrushes. He made buckets of Murphy's Oil Soap and had us clean all the woodwork in the building with the toothbrushes.

Another bought flashlights so he could check under tables and chairs and pretty much everything to make sure it was all swept and clean...not to mention that same manager was severely addicted to cocaine.

They're not all bad, but they're rarely telling us anything we don't know and they aren't doing anything we couldn't do ourselves.