It’s not that we hate them in and of themselves…for the most part.But when we see that party of 8 trudging closer to our section, half of which are children under 10 years old, we can’t help but groan.
It means 10 extra minutes at the table as parents try to pull their kids orders out of them while they fiddle away with their DS.
It means endless refills of milk and apple juice.
It means 5 extra minutes after they leave, sweeping up the spaghetti they’ve thrown all over the floor and replacing the flower water that has turned red from the crayon shoved in it.
They disturb everyone around them and run dangerously around the dining room.
Then for all these annoyances, the check is only ½ of what it could be and the parents’ thin patience is reflected in the tip.
Just leave them at home or go to Friendly’s.
There was once a family with two little boys sitting in a booth, table 41 right at the entrance to the main dining room.They weren’t my table but they were difficult to ignore.
One of the boys was screeching for his parents’ attention who were purposefully ignoring him.His attempts unsuccessful, the boy took it upon himself and got up and walked behind the booth, now right in the entryway.
He pulled down his pants and defecated on the floor.
Diarrhea.
Realizing what happened, his parents turned a horrified shade of maroon and promptly left leaving us to clean up their mess.
There are worse though, far worse than even I have experienced.So do us all a favor and until your kids are old enough leave them with a sitter or take them only to children oriented places.
I’m sure you’re eager to know the gruesome details I’ve accumulated through my work but a little education is necessary first.
I shall start with everything you’re doing wrong as a guest in our establishments.
Don’t ask for a booth…
when you walk in on a busy Friday night without a reservation be happy you get a table at all.When you’re sat at a less desirable table you’re NOT being treated badly.There’s a rotation of tables to keep it fair, sit down and shut up.
If you ask for a table that is dirty don’t sit down and wait for us to clean around you.Go back to the host stand and wait.
Don’t sit for hours after your meal unless you plan on compensating us.We’re losing money as long as you sit there.
Don’t ask for bread/crackers/popcorn etc…
as soon as the server approaches the table.I’m a human being and I just said hello to you, basic manners still apply.I’m here to provide a service, I am NOT your servant.Bread’s apart of the service, it will come.
Don’t keep me waiting…
standing at the table for 5 minutes until you decide you actually do need more time to decide on which salad dressing you’d like.That’s 20 things I wasn’t able to do.
Don’t tell us, show us…
that you appreciated our work to make your experience enjoyable.A genuine smile and a thank you doesn’t pay the bills.
For those of you equipped with that black AMEX, although we may never own one we for damn sure what it does, so when you leave us 15% you’re full of shit.
Furthermore, we have to tip too…most often 2% of ours sales to our bussers, 1% to our bartenders and 1% to our food runners.When you don’t tip us we’re losing money.
Don’t go out to eat if…
you can’t afford the tip, your children can’t behave, you’re fighting with your companion, you only order salad and water, you can’t show us some human decency.
Don’t be selfish…
if you see me running around the restaurant and it’s been almost a minute since you asked for your fourth refill of diet coke, no ice and a twist of lemon, rest assured I’m busy and I will bring it to you as soon as I can.
Under no circumstances are you to snap your fingers, hail me with a wave, whistle or otherwise attempt to get my attention except in serious circumstances.
It’s not our fault…
if the food isn’t to your liking, if the wait is really long, if it’s loud, hot, cold or the music is insufferable.
Don’t be picky…
if your drink isn’t filled to the top.They’re measured to the amount legally servable.If you want it full it won’t be with liquor.
DO sing our praises…
If your experience is worthy of the praise then by all means gush to our managers.Not enough of you appreciate the work and detail we put in both on stage and behind the scenes.
Be nice to us, treat us like sentient emotional beings and we may let you out unscathed.
Before I launch into what will be, without a doubt, an endless diatribe about the dysfunctional atmosphere I’m forced into every day, let me introduce you to my world of restaurant employment.
It’s a job where you could be on your feet for 15 hours without break or food.It’s where angry Brazilians mumble obscenities at you in Portuguese and laugh at your obliviousness.You’ll injure yourself one way or another (burnt hands, sliced fingers on broken glass, back pain from lifting racks of glasses…) each and every shift.You’ll be degraded and patronized from guests to boss.It’s where you know you’re far smarter than everyone around you but forced to bite your cheek and smile like an idiot.
I’ve worked in a total of 7 different restaurants since I was 15, and in my 10 years of experience I’ve seen things that would horrify their customers.Without too many details to incriminate my colleagues I’ve had through the years I hope you gain some insight into this dark world so many of us are trapped in and you understand exactly what it means to be a server.
Move over Harry Potter, Edward Cullen’s come to town. Three years ago, when Twilight was first published, author Stephanie Meyer has been quoted claiming she had no idea about the cult phenomenon that it would produce. The trend has spread rapidly around the world as the fantastical love story unfolded, but only recently has it found firm footing within the walls of Wellesley’s Italian restaurant, Papa Razzi.
It’s a classic love story with a mythological twist. Bella Swan, a simple 17 year old girl leaves her home in Phoenix, Arizona to live with her father in Forks, Washington. Hoping to fade into the background of her new high school, she soon finds herself falling in love with Edward, a 110-year-old telepathic vegetarian vampire. The four book series chronicles the next couple of years of her life and the consequences, both good and bad, of having a vampire as a boyfriend.
With the movie released late last year, the books' popularity has increased and the crazy fanfare surrounding the series has finally caught the attention of the previously oblivious front of the house staff at Papa Razzi. Having just finished the series myself, I was embarrassed to admit to my co-workers the inescapable allure that it held for me.
One afternoon, fellow server Andrea Wieder dropped a tray down on the service bar and started skewering olives with a distant gaze. She noticed me staring at her and blushed.
“I’m stuck in a Twilight fog” she said.
It was all out in the open as our conversation was overheard by more closet Twilight fanatics. I was then able to understand the affects of being a fan.
“I yelled at my boyfriend today, ‘Why can’t you be more like Edward? Why can’t you be a vampire?!’” said Wieder.
Official Twilight Trailer
Other co-workers came out in the open to divulge their own twilight addictions.
“I find myself comparing my own boyfriend to Edward. I can’t help it" said 25 year old server, Melissa McEvoy. No one can. As Edward confesses to Bella, “You are exactly my brand of heroin,” so too this series finds the addict in all its fans.
Karen Voillette, a bar manager, held the book I lent her to her chest.
“I tried not to, really. But the more I read the more inexplicably obsessed I became," said Voillette.
I’ve tried to deny my obsession, but it’s been a futile attempt. I’m just as crazed as the teens these books are intended for. From the poster of Bella and Edward hanging in my room to the not-so-legal downloads of the movie and the soundtrack, I find my thirst for everything Twilight insatiable. But I’m not alone, thinking about the 22 pages of fanfiction I’m printing for a co-worker.
"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..."
It started slowly for some, frustration necessitating a pause in the building excitement.
“I took a break halfway through the series because Bella’s just annoying. She doesn’t deserve Edward! But it sucked me back in eventually. There’s no escape once you start," said Wieder.
For others it began as a practicality.
“I bought the books for my trip to Ireland, hoping to kill some time on the plane. I was finished by the time I got home," said Sarah O'Halloran, a waitress.
For others it has yet to begin. My roommate and co-worker, Melissa Upham is adamantly refusing to join the cult phenomenon.
“I won’t read them" said Upham, “Not until my roommate stops re-reading them." She has seen the movie, though, and already owns the first two books. It’s only a matter of time until one boring day she begrudgingly picks up that first book and I don’t see her for a week while she reads.
