Satan Wears an Apron

She's 5'6" and roughly 200lbs.  She has blonde hair cut and shaved shorter than most of the men I work with.  She wears thick plastic glasses and tight velour pants.  She pants loudly as she stumbles around the restaurant and moves about as fast as computers did 50 years ago.

Meet the devil.

She's worked in the restaurant since it opened 18 years ago, when she was probably about 70 years old, and has bestowed an inherent entitlement on herself.  She knows every guest that walks through the doors and makes it her priority to stop at every table and plague them with her evil.  

I saw a table of women glance at each other as Satan wobbled away from them toward the kitchen and roll their eyes.  

"You know her?"

Her friend nodded reluctantly.

"I'm sorry."

So was I.  Sorry that the devil has brought hell to earth and forced us all to swelter in the fiery depths.  

Everyone has co-workers they can't stand, but few are forced to work with Lucifer.  She is by far the rudest person I have ever, and probably will ever, meet, yet, like the devil she masks it with fake politeness.  

Standing at the service bar on a busy Saturday night waiting for my drinks I can hear her gasping breathing behind me and almost simultaneously a stubby fat hand roughly pushes me to the side to get her own drinks.

"Excuse me" she barks afterward stressing her annoyance at my being in her way and negating the compunction the remark is meant to bring.  Why would she even bother saying it?  It's the devils attempt at appearing human with common social courtesy.  

When I first met her I thought it was my own abrasive personality that simply clashed with hers.  It only took a week for me to notice the obvious abhorrence that both the staff and clientele held for her.  

Despite this, she's left to her own devices, management too intimidated by her to attempt a personality overhaul.  She's a permanent fixture in the restaurant, like the warped wood floors.  Been there forever, deteriorated and too expensive to fix.  So she continues on, warping the lives of everyone who has the misfortune of meeting her.